Excited About An Ending & Anxious For A New Beginning!

Well, in less than 48 hours will officially be a college graduate! I still cannot fathom that it has already been 4 years and I'm about to walk out in my black robe and accept my college diploma with honors! I am proud to say that I have finished up my last semester of my undergraduate work with straight A's! It is the first time I have done it throughout college! Wow, and what a ride it has been. In a month I am about to finish up my golf season that's had an amazing 4 year run. With 2 tournaments left to go I have participated in over 84 tournament rounds all over the United States, been a part of about 10 victories, and won a small match myself. I can only pray that me and my team will finish out this season strong with Regionals this week and the National Championship in 3 weeks.

I have been blessed to have met some amazing people throughout my 4 years at CBU. I have been fortunate enough to have gained many life long friends that I know that if I was ever in need I could call them up and in a moments notice they would be there. In the last three years I have traveled to 3 different counties and been fortunate enough to serve on several different ministries. The Lord has brought me through a lot and grown me and broken me as He has desired, and I am grateful for every trivial and difficult thing I have faced in the last 4 years. My life would not be what it is today without all of those and I wouldn't have the ability to speak to people and relate to them the way that I am able now.

I am very anxious to complete this chapter in my life, but also am very anxious for the several new beginnings in my life. I start my new job at Sips coffee very soon, I will be living in a new place with one of the greatest women I have come to know, I will be starting my dual-masters program at CBU in Counseling Psychology and Counseling Ministry in late August, and will continue to grow in the Lord and grow in my relationships with the Lord being the center of it all.

One of the greatest blessings I have had is Jovan. The Lord has done some amazing things in our relationship and has grown us so much closer to Him. We have both been stretched out of our comfort zone and are stepping up to the plate to be great stewards for the Lord's work in our lives. He has been able to keep us strong through the 8 months we've been together and kept us stable even though 2 hours keeps us a part most of the time. I have been blessed with a great man and I look forward to seeing what God has planned for us in the future. Thanks for all your prayers.

Just to tell you all about how much of a wonderful man Jovan is in my life, I just received and email from him today titled "11 Reasons Why I Love You" and it made me want to cry. The Lord has blessed me! Thy will be done Lord, on earth as it is in heaven. We are just constantly praying for guidance, direction, and strong spiritual foundation for our lives and we ask that our friends and family pray for that also. With the distance it is hard and we are doing our best to best examples of Christ we can be when we are apart but most importantly together. We consider our relationship a blessing from the Lord and we want to do our best to honor that. Prayers are powerful and we all need it! :) Thanks for all your support and prayers!

"For His Name Sake" Psalms 23:3

Oh Pride....The funny thing about pride is that I get sucked into the idea that I'm like the opposite of prideful then I boast about being humble! Oh the irony of being a human with no idea what they are doing! My devotional the other day really put things in perspective for me as I faced my struggle with pride, no matter how tiny I feel the problem is, it is none the less a struggle.

Max Lucado explained that no only are we just tools that God uses to do His will, He himself should receive all the Glory. I think this is a very serious problem with Christians today and being humble enough to give God the glory when we do something amazing. Even the most humble person has a slight moment of arrogance and thinks "Hey, what about me?!" Lucado then bears the question, "Does a scalpel have a smug look after a successful transplant? No, it is only a tool, and we are the same and ultimately God gets the glory."

When I was young in my faith I was not sure why God needed an ego boost all the time. Did he really need to feel that important? However, I am come to find that it isn't God that has the ego problem, it US! He takes on the things that we cannot handle and we definitely cannot handle being given all the glory. We struggle being humble most of the day, we would never handle being given all the glory for the things that we do! We'd be arrogant and completely selfish, more so than ever before!

As Christians we even fall into being prideful in our prayers. We pray things like "Thank you Lord for blessing me and not putting me on welfare like that man on the street corner." One thing we definitely aren't is we aren't real with ourselves and we aren't being real with God. Humility is the only way we can mature as spiritual beings. We must die to ourselves and understand that although we are blessed, we are still filthy rags before the Lord and we all fall short of His glory! Instead our prayer should be, "God have mercy on me, a sinner, like my brother on welfare-I am dependent upon your grace."

Max Lucado put it best when he said, "The Maker of the stars would rather die for you than live without you. So if you need to brag, brag about that, and check your chin at the door!"

Let us remember to not give ourselves the glory for we cannot handle nor do we deserve it. "Don't praise yourself. Let someone else do it for you." (Proverbs 27:2)

The Beauty Of Who You Are....

"For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do." 1 Timothy 2:10



I will openly admit that I have been convinced that beauty is skin deep and is whatever an individual says it is. It is amazing to me how polluted our minds have become to the definition of attractive or beautiful. Our culture makes the claim that beautiful is a certain size, weight, or personality. It neglects the strength and integrity of that persons character altogether. I feel that women in our generation have a lot to battle with in regards to feeling accepted and attractive in the eyes of society. It is a blessing to know that as a believer of Jesus Christ, we as women have hope and reassurance that we are beautiful and attractive in the eyes of our Heavenly Father. For those of us who fix our eyes and our hearts upon the promises of the Lord, we are called beautiful and attractive. As we die to ourselves and the standards that our generation and society put upon us, the beauty of our character is illuminated to its fullest. Our desire should be to please the Lord and to be Godly women. Although it is hard to go against what we have been taught to be "attractive", our Lord will honor our efforts and our "cup will overflow" with blessing.

Something happened this weekend spurred this epiphany and rattled my perception of how I defined beauty. I was in San Diego with my wonderful boyfriend Jovan and we got up early to get ready for church. I had slept really well and was very much groggy and out of it when I was woken up by a kiss on the forehead. Needless to say I was not feeling very beautiful because I was in my finest black sweatpants, grey golf t-shirt, and my elegantly disheveled hair that was everywhere. Although, I did not consider myself as being attractive based upon society's definition, Jovan did. He looked me straight in my sleepy green eyes, smiled very wide and said, "You are so beautiful. I can't get over how pretty you are!" I was so humbled and flattered that I found another man, other than my Lord, that sees beauty based on who I am and my good deeds and not what I look like. It was then that I understood how God sees beauty. Thank you Jovan for helping me see what you and the Lord sees in regards to beauty.

Lord help me to follow you with every breath I breathe, with every decision I make, and with every act I perform. My desire is to follow your standards and not those around me who do not follow you and call you Father. Help me to trust that in serving you, the beauty you have implemented in my heart that you created, to shine to those who I encounter. Amen.

Whaddifs & Howells?

For those of you who know me (which I hope if you're reading this you do) know that I am a constant worrier. I worry about yesterdays decisions, homework that's due 2 weeks from now, my golf swing, if I'll get through my devotion time, what will I do after I graduate, what if I don't get a job...I'm sure you get the picture. Well, I haven't been more reminded of how incredibly tedious playing the "Whaddifs and Howells" game really is on my emotions, and more importantly how taxing it is on my spiritual life. My boyfriend bought me a devotional about a month or so ago and it's called "Traveling Light" by Max Lucado. He goes through each verse of Psalms 23 and centers around the goal of how to release the burdens we were never intended to bear. The devotion that I was going through focused on verse 2 which says "He leads me beside still waters." To be honest I never really thought about this verse too much until I read this devotional. He leads me...He's not pushing me but guiding me and telling me where to go and where not to go and what to watch out for. God leads us. God will do the right thing at the right time. And what a difference that makes. Jesus really hit it home when he said in Matthew 6:27, " You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it." Wow, I am quite the idiot! haha His timing is perfect and He knows what we need. He has proven that so abundantly these last couple of months. He got me through my Graduate School application, my tiring golf season thus far, my intense school load, and has miraculously found me the perfect job with a kind, understanding, and compassionate boss. All things that I thought were so impossible, were a sinch to God and all I had to do was trust Him. He promises a lamp unto our feet, not a crystal ball into the future. We do not need to know what will happen tomorrow. We only need to know he leads us and "we will find grace to help us when we need it." (Hebrews 4:16).

My First Sigh Of Relief! *whew*

With 24 days left until I graduate I have been feeling uneasy and weary about my future. Mostly my financial future. With applying to about a dozen jobs since January it seemed hopeless. Golf was also making it difficult for me to start right after graduation with Regionals and Nationals occupying my first month off of school. I was frightened and concerned because I felt that since I had been blessed to have given the opportunity to live in such an amazing apartment with someone I look up to and admire and being 1 interview away from being accepted into my dream double-masters program...why didn't I have a job by now? But the Lord proved that it was in His timing once again. Funny how we forget that so easily....

I had an interview today with Sips Coffee and it was probably the best 1st interview I have ever had! He was more than willing to wait till June 1st for me to fully be able to invest at Sips. He was so friendly and excited to work with me. I sat there just stunned and amazed of how flexible and willing to work with me he was. All I could think to myself was "Praise you Lord!!!! You always provide!"

I can't wait to slowly train with them for a couple hours per week and learn to become quite the little barista!!! :)